OT HanLeia Reflection
by Jaina Durron
Summary: A special little May the Fourth present; a look back at Han and Leia's relationship throughout the original trilogy. To be given a better name when I come up with one


**A.N.** Happy Star Wars day, everyone! Special thanks to HannahRachel05 for betaing!

* * *

 **ANH**

Once both men approached the stage, Leia surveyed them both. First, there was boyish Luke- dressed in a mustard yellow jacket and military-issued pants. The Rebellion's newly-minted hero. Leia had to admit he deserved it. Although, she struggled to think of him as a man; that wasn't any intended slight to him. It was just that Luke acted as young as he was; naїve, impatient, and eager in the face of the Rebellion's enemies- and the boredom of a simpler life. He was so young, though he was exactly the same age as Leia herself, but Luke lacked the maturity she had long ago gained. Like he hadn't seen half as much of life as she had. Leia supposed that wasn't his fault. He hadn't seen much of life or much of the Empire, so he wore his happy grin, bounced around spreading genuine cheer, and Leia- for his sake- artificially cheered with him in his exciting presence. Even his bright and hopeful personality couldn't get Leia to feel any kind of genuine excitement following the past horrid week. But he had an infectious smile that Leia couldn't help but share before turning away.

To Luke's side stood two more figures. There was Chewbacca, the most loyal of his loyal kind. Leia smelled a sweet soap mix drifting from his long, combed fur and she was grateful for his efforts because he hadn't smelt so clean when they had first met on the Death Star.

And then there was Han. First, he responded in kind to her smile with a wide grin of his own. Shortly into her time of knowing him, Leia had come to notice that Han Solo had a smile like no other. He had a grin. A cocky, wide, lopsided grin that drove Leia crazy if for no other reason than that she'd never seen anything like it before. She smiled briefly back at him before twisting to around to accept a medallion from General Dodonna who stood behind her. She carefully unfolded the long necklace part and reached forward to grace it around Han's neck. He bent low for her, then resumed his smile. Leia was about to offer her customary, pleasant smile once more when Han winked and Leia nearly gasped aloud. She had to bite back her laughter and quickly turned away to take the other medal from Jan.

She gave it to Luke and returned his smile, but Han's wink was stuck in her mind and her broad smile which Luke received was not meant for him.

 **ESB**

Leia saw him out of the corner of her eye. She turned from her station to investigate. She didn't want to accept it. She couldn't believe he actually would-

He briskly marched into the communications center of the Hoth base. His gaze found her, caught her watching, and Leia, not so discreetly, quickly turned back. She heard him talking to General Rieekan, giving the latest report from his last surveillance run. She twisted her body around to watch him. He told Rieekan that Commander Skywalker hadn't returned yet, reported a random meteorite, then- without wasting another breath- announced that he was going to leave.

Leia looked at her hands to see that her knuckles were white from their fierce grip on another ensign's chair. The young woman glanced up at her, but Leia couldn't even find the words to apologize. She tried to keep her wits about her as Han and Rieekan wrapped up their final greetings, then Han came to stop by her. Casually, she craned her neck and looked at him for an awkward, silent moment.

"Well, Your Highness, guess this is it," he said, his eyes searching her as if he were expecting some long speech from her about how much she'd miss him.

Instead, Leia responded with a nod and said, "That's right," in a cold and bitter tone.

Han's expression turned sour. "Well, don't get mushy on me. So long, Princess."

That was it. Leia's anger bubbled over and she stormed after him. "Han!" she called after him.

"Yes, Your Highnessness."

Leia was used to Han calling her a hundred different dumb pet names, but they always got on her nerves. This time, however, Han was doing something else that was bothering her more.

Three years. For three years Han had been telling her, telling _everyone_ that he was leaving. Jabba was after him, money was tight, he'd rather find a new pastime than be running away from bounty hunters. The list went on, but so had the excuses _not_ to leave. Leia just couldn't believe that he was actually doing it this time. He was headed out. Chewie was finishing up repairs on the _Falcon_ and Han had one foot out the door. Leia struggled for the perfect solution to pull him back.

How could he just leave? Against his own word, he'd stayed with the Rebellion for three years. Why would he just suddenly leave now? Was Ord Mantell really to blame? That bounty hunter couldn't have shaken him up _that badly._ Sure, it had been a close call (and Leia might nearly have lost her life), but Han had stayed for three years. And Leia had started to believe that he would never leave.

And suddenly, she felt very foolish.

She had actually believed that Han Solo would stay with the Rebellion. She didn't understand why, but that made her more than. The thought of Han leaving twisted with her gut until it was just a pile of mush weighing heavily within her. Unpleasant thoughts of loneliness and fear gnawed at Leia.

Why was it like this? Why would he leave? Why would he leave now? Why would he let her think that he might stay? Why did Han make her feel such unpleasant and confusing things? And how on Coruscant did he do it?!

All the unpleasant things she felt at the thought of Han leaving made her sick and she wanted to pull Han back and tell him that he made her nauseated and she needed him to stay because the flutterflies he gave her whenever he was around at least felt warm and Leia would rather deal with those than the hurt and emptiness and nausea she felt whenever he threatened to leave.

 **ROTJ**

She sat with Han in the thick grass between the fallen logs around the Ewok village, watching the brilliant, dancing fireworks in the night sky. Colorful bursts of the fireworks shot into the sky, leaving smokey tails while the rest dispersed into evaporating puffs of lighter color. Leia loved the sound of their sizzle. While she watched the show, Leia could only smile because all she could think about were the endless possibilities of her future. For once, her future was her own to take. The Empire was defeated, Vader and Palpatine were both dead, and Leia was curled up in the arms of a man who could erase the last few years from her memory with only his touch and words.

Leia felt lucky. Somehow, she'd made it through, seen this revolution through and now the galaxy was free, justice had won in the end. And now Leia's future was hers to claim and the possibilities were endless. It was almost too much for Leia to ponder, so she kept it simple and promised herself that the only thing that mattered was that Han stayed in her future. _Long term, forever. Whatever happens to me, to you, to us, I want you at my side, flyboy._

She relaxed in Han's arms, watching the light show but paying more attention to Han's even breaths and the comforting feel of his strong arms wrapped around her. She soaked in the assurance it brought her, reveled in the promise that Han had offered her during their reunion shortly after their escape from Tatooine and Jabba's palace. _I could never leave you._

That was all she really needed anyway. Before, her future had been so unclear, so uncertain and almost scary; she'd had no idea what it held. But the past few days had revealed much to her- from the new revelation that Luke was actually her brother. Now she knew where Luke fit into her life. And now she knew that Han wanted a spot in it too. Leia had been saving him one and he fit into it just perfectly. He filled all the emptiness in her aching body that had threatened to make her collapse. He shone a light that kept the ghosts of her past at bay.

"What do you think, Princess?" Han suddenly spoke up, his arms tightening about her waist. Leia felt his lips linger near her cheek and she smiled in anticipation. "Freedom taste as wonderful as you've always dreamed?"

She grinned, silently begging him to carry her away. "Better."

"Oh, yeah?"

She nodded.

"Is there anything else you could possibly want?"

The night was too much to take in, but _this_ was something she understood. This was simple. "I want you, flyboy."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading and may the Force be with you all!**


End file.
